Ми, не знам

Ми, не знам как се чувствам. Странно. Ядосано. Празно. Спокойно. Не знам.

Странно. Малко е трудно да преодолееш факта, че няма да видиш някой никога повече. Май все още не мога да го осъзная. Или може би го осъзнавам и това странно чувство е може би самата липса. Странно.

Ядосано. О, да! Ядосана съм! Много хора, които уважаваха този човек. И едни нищожества, които бяха там само за сеира. Гледат те в очите ( или по-точно навират си главата в твоето лице) само , за да видят дали плачеш. Забраних си да плача. „Еди кой си къде е? Защо не е дошъл? Тази е еди коя си“. Била съм облечена в бяло. Ако се облека в черно, това ще го върне ли, нищожества? Ако да – да се почерня цялата.

Последното е било болка. За това съм ядосана най-много. И най-много ме боли. Ядосано.

Празно. Май това е странното чувство от по-горе. Ма, като че ли освен странно е и някак празно. Да. Празно.

Спокойно. Той ми каза, че вече е добре. Той ми го каза, но все пак… Май трябва да съм спокойна. Спокойно.

И все пак. Не знам.

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